Rounding up Mustangs or Bust

Grandpa winning a race at BYU

My grandfather Arthur Dee McAllister was both a cowboy and a track star.   But he was first and foremost a cowboy, because even though he supposedly held the world's record in 1904 for the 100 and 200 yard dashes (and would try out for the 1908 Olympics), he reminisced and recounted many more stories about his cowboy days.  

  

Elizabeth "D" Hatch

He started as a "horse wrangler" when he was only 15 years old.  His job was to herd and care for approximately 200 saddle horses from early in the morning until evening for 30 cowboys.  At night the cowboys would take turns watching and caring for their horses.  That was just the beginning of many years of being a cowboy, often working and sleeping out on the range for many months at a time; including during the winter in the snow.  

In the fall of 1902 his parents sent him to Beaver, Utah to attend the Beaver Branch of Brigham Young University where he met his future wife, Elizabeth "D" McAllister.  During the next 5 years Arthur would attend school starting in the fall, run track in the spring, and then get any work he could find that had something to do with riding a horse; including carrying mail by horseback 120 miles round trip three times a week between Kanab, Fredonia and Rockville.

Grandpa with my mother as a little girl

I love all my grandfather's stories, but there is one that is particularly meaningful to me - the summer (possibly 1907) he spent rounding up wild mustangs.  Evidently a Mr. Danks from Eureka came to Kanab and purchased the brands of Walt Hamblin, Frank Farnsworth and others, and hired a group of wranglers (including my grandfather) to gather all the horses with the brands he now owned and along with all unbranded wild mustangs they could catch.  Each of the hired wranglers had to furnish their own saddle horses (6 to 10 each) and Mr. Danks was to feed their horses oats twice a day, provide board, and $5 a day in compensation.  Grandfather wrote, "Of course we furnished our own saddles and outfit including our bed.  What a wonderful wage and how happy we were and how hard we worked."  They employed a number of tricks to capture these wild horses; including driving them into box canyons or corral traps, and watching water holes and then chasing them after they had drunk all they could.  According to grandfather the last method was the best because it was easy to drive the mustangs hard when they were full of water for about a half mile and then lasso whichever horse you wanted.

Arthur Dee McAllister

After four months of hard work they had rounded up more than 200 horses and Mr. Danks said he was going to Eureka to take his family to Salt Lake City for school.  Grandfather told Mr. Danks that he had to leave and get back to the L.D.S University in Salt Lake City.  Mr. Danks said, "All right, Art.  I will give you a check for $60.00 that will get you to Salt Lake, then you come to the White House Hotel and I will be there and settle with you."  After working for him for four months, grandfather had no reason to doubt him, but the check bounced and Mr. Danks was never to be seen or heard from again.  My grandfather got nothing for a full summer of hard work and ended up having to cover the bounced check to boot.  The other wranglers branded the captured horses for themselves and turned them back on the range.  They also divided up the camp equipment, pack saddles, tents, etc. among themselves, but got almost nothing for all their hard work.

Why do I appreciate this terrible story so much?  Well, in 1978 I left my position as a junior high school math teacher in Nampa, Idaho and with my brother-in-law Erik Neilson purchased a car battery recycling franchise in the Willamette Valley of Oregon that quickly went belly up.  We invested what little money we had in the franchise, purchased and installed equipment (including significant electrical wiring), and worked all summer; but it was obvious after three months that with the additional royalties that were being imposed we would never make a profit.  To say that I was feeling very discouraged and depressed about our economic situation would be an understatement.  We were not in the position where I had the luxury of making no money for 3 months.  Just to make ends meet, I got a job scooping green beans at a food processing plant with a kid who had just graduated from high school.

Grandpa trying out at Stanford for the 1908 Olympics

As this was all unfolding I happened to read my grandfathers "Pleasant Memories" with his story about the dream of making big money that summer rounding up wild mustangs, and how it turned out to be a bust for him.  This gave me real pause and a different perspective as I considered the Arthur McAllister that I knew.  I have a great love and regard for my grandfather.  He was a very kind, funny, interesting man who made it special whenever I was with him.  He was respected and greatly loved by his family and those in his community.  Somehow just knowing that he also lost an entire summer's hard work without any compensation, gave me hope.  I guess it was just the thought or possibility that even though my summer had been a bust, maybe in time I might be able to turn out to be like him.  When you are down and feeling like a failure, it just helps to know that someone you respect and look up to went through something similar and they turned out okay. Thanks Grandpa for being who you were/are and for your cowboy stories that would help me get through a hard time many years after you had passed away.

The Law of Twins and Its Benefits

There are many theories regarding the influence birth order can have on the children in a family, but it was because my father was a twin and not his position in the family that would have such a profound and lasting effect on him and his children.  For example, his life was governed by the Law of Twins.  I would venture to say that most people aren't even aware that there is a Law of Twins, let alone understand the powerful difference it can make in all human relationships.

Twins - Lorin and Warren Goates

I was very young when my father introduced me to this rule, and I imagine he and his twin, were just little boys when my grandmother, Clara Evans Goates, taught them.  The premise for the Law of Twins is to make certain things are divided fairly.  Simply stated, when dividing something between two people, the first person makes the division and the second person picks first.  My father demonstrated this principle to me with a candy bar; explaining how a person would cut the candy bar exactly in half when it was the other person who would pick first.  He actually showed me the effort one would make to cut the candy bar exactly in half.  I remember him moving the knife back and forth over a candy bar and then pressing it down when he felt it was exactly even.  He explained how the Law of Twins helps you to see and appreciate both sides in any agreement so it was fair to each party. 

So what is the big deal about such a simple rule?  Well, this law not only promotes fairness, but also the mind-set of seeing multiple perspectives in any agreement to make certain and advocate that "fair is fair".  What my grandmother taught my father wasn't just how to avoid an argument or confrontations when dividing candy bars, but more significantly the importance of all parties being represented in any exchange to insure that the outcome was fair and equitable for everyone.

No doubt, it wasn't just the fact that my father and his brother were twins, but that combined with their father's death when they were only 3 and their mother's passing when they were 16, that made them bond so closely.  My father and his twin brother, Warren, were business partners as they began their lives, struggling to get ahead during the depression.  As they began their adult years, the Law of Twins was already deeply ingrained and they had implicit trust in one another, knowing they would share equally the fortune or hardships that befell them.  What is surprising is the effect the Law of Twins (and the concept that things should be fair for all parties) would have on my father and me in terms of work and financial remuneration.

In the spring of 1925 my father and his twin brother, Warren were given the opportunity to operate the concessions (to sell pop, candy, ice cream, beer) and help take care of the grounds at the Saratoga Resort by Utah Lake near Lehi, Utah even though they were only 21 years of age.  The manager for the resort promised them a bonus if they did a good job.  They worked hard and it was my father's opinion that they had more than fulfilled the agreement.  

On their last day, my father and Warren presented the resort manager with the records providing the accounting for all receipts and expenses related to the concessions.  He told them to get in his car and then drove them up to Salt Lake City to check with the vendors who supplied commodities there, and then down to Provo to check with the vendors there.  Father was a little put out that they were spending the majority of the day checking their accounting (which matched to the very penny with every vendor), and privately Warren made a comment about not pushing the issue if the bonus was not proffered.  Evidently as they were finishing up back at the resort, nothing was said or offered regarding the bonus.  My father's sense of fairness, however, would not let him leave without saying something, because as he told me, "fair is fair - and we kept our part of the bargain".  He went back to the resort manager and reminded him of the original agreement with the promise of a bonus.  My father then told the manager that he and Warren had kept their part of the bargain and they had just spent the day verifying that their accounting matched perfectly with all the vendors.  Father concluded by saying, "You don't have to give us the bonus that you promised and which we earned, but don't ever ask us to work for you again."

Evidently this had quite an effect on the resort manager, because he then commended them for their work and honesty; and gave them the promised bonus.  More importantly, this manager also was responsible for hiring my father (after his 2 1/2 year mission to Hawaii) to work at the local sugar factory, and then took father with him when he was transferred to another factory in Shelley, Idaho.  He also encouraged and helped my father get training and experience as a sugar boiler; which greatly furthered father's career opportunities in the sugar industry. 

Later, as a foreman with the Amalgamated Sugar Company in Nyssa, Oregon, my father was president and chief negotiator for the local AFL-CIO affiliated Sugar Worker's Union.  In contract meetings tempers would flare, making it easy to form enemies with the opposing side as they would squabble over salaries and various contract terms.  In 1957, my father applied for an assistant superintendent position that became available at the Nyssa sugar factory, but he was very skeptical that he would even be considered because of his ongoing involvement in negotiations opposite company management over many years. 

 

Nyssa Oregon Sugar Factory

To his surprise, father was selected from among the numerous applicants and promoted to Assistant Superintendent.  Years later he asked the company General Superintendent, Bernall Brown, how it was that the company even considered his application after his many years of sitting across the table in negotiations with management.  Mr. Brown told him that while he had been a strong advocate for the workers, the administration recognized that my father had always been fair and had the ability to see that their agreements had to be good for both the company and the workers, which was unusual in their heated deliberations. 

Due to a lack of funds, my father was only able to attend two quarters of college, but he told me that his salary as assistant superintendent was significantly more than the superintendent of schools in our small town who had a master's or doctorate degree.  To say that my father was rewarded financially due in part to the Law of Twins would be an understatement.  I realize that he had many other qualities that contributed to his promotion.  He was a hard worker and never let his temper get the better of him.  He also had the advantage from years of training and experience in various leadership positions in the LDS Church, but his perspective as a twin was significant and should not be discounted.

My own experience has been similar to my father's, in that I also was hired for a position even though I did not have all the expected education and certification.  I attribute my promotion as a school district administrator to my father's formula of hard work, church leadership training and experience; and applying the law of twins.  I spent 18 years as the superintendent's designee for dealing with complaints, expulsions, boundary changes and student transfers in a public school district of 9,000 pupils.  The ability to see and consider different sides in contentious matters was not only helpful, but always seemed to be appreciated by both those with whom I dealt and those to whom I answered.  After all, "fair is fair".

*Note - As children, my father and his twin Warren often repeated "Tins, tins, do we always have to be tins, wear the same clothes, marry the same girl"; no doubt to irritate their mother.  Little did he realize or appreciate as a child the advantage of being a twin would give him in his adult life.

Never Learning Cursive

This story is about the profound influence an individual has had on my life who I have never met - well at least we never met in this life.   Let me start by recounting my first experience when attending an Elders Quorum meeting.  For those who are not LDS, young men who turn 18 and are considered worthy are ordained an Elder and join a quorum of adult male priesthood holders with whom they meet every Sunday.  I remember being rather intimidated by meeting with approximately 30 adult men who were all older and more experienced than me.  The lesson that first Sunday was on controlling our speech, with an emphasis on refraining from swearing.  

Near the end of the lesson, Ed Sharp (a man about 45 years of age) raised his hand and said he had an experience that he wanted to share.  He said a few years before while working in the early morning hours of a graveyard shift at the sugar beet factory in Nyssa, Oregon, the large conveyor belt broke that carried all the sliced beets into the factory.  It took quite a while to stop the beet cutting operation and so several tons of sliced beets spilled out all over the front part of the sugar factory creating a huge mess and effectively shut down the factory.  He watched as the foremen and mechanics arrived and said each of them began swearing and uttering profanities because of all the trouble this would cause.  He then said Lorin Goates, the Assistant Superintendent who was in charge of this shift and managing the approximately 60 men who were working, came on the scene.  Ed said everyone was quiet while my father surveyed the situation, and then my father said, "Well, I'll be darn!"  Ed went on to say that my father immediately began giving orders as to what various individuals were to do to clean up the mess, repair the equipment, and get the factory back into operation.

A cursive weapon when combined with manure

I could tell that Ed Sharp and the others in the Elder's Quorum were impressed by that story and the fact that my father, the person with the responsibility to make that shift productive, didn't resort to swearing in the midst of what was viewed as a horrible problem.  My father's reaction, however, was no surprise to me because I knew he didn't swear.  I had spent many a cold morning with my father milking cows at 6 a.m. in the winter, when the temperature was below freezing and a cow would step on your foot, kick you, or swish you with their tail that was covered in manure.  Under those circumstances, when no one of any importance is around and a cow's tail just covered your face with manure, there is an excellent opportunity to express oneself with language that would not be appropriate for church.  I would like to say that never happened, but in fact I have seen it all happen to my father while milking cows.  I mean I have seen it all happen except for the cussing and blaspheming, because I never heard my father swear - not once.

Clara Evan Goates

It would be another 20 years before I learned why my father never swore.  It was while driving across Oregon with my oldest sister Irene to visit our parents decades later that I recounted the Elder's Quorum story above and commented on never hearing father swear.  She then said, "Well, you know why don't you?"; and then, because I had no idea, she explained it was because his mother had made him promise when he was a little boy that he would not swear or take the Lord's name in vain.  Most little boys would not be able to keep such a promise, but my father could and would keep his promise.

Clara Evans Goates and children

While I have incredible respect for my father, it is my widowed grandmother, Clara Evans Goates, who amazes me.  This woman would die in the Spanish Influenza epidemic of 1920, twenty-seven and a half years before I was even born, and yet her influence on me is profound.  It starts with having a father who didn't swear, but he also didn't drink or smoke (another promise he made to his mother) and was morally clean (also something he promised her).  

My father didn't lose his temper, because it seems that if you can control your language, you can also control you anger.  My father was physically very strong, but I was not afraid of him because his temper never got the better of him.  I have seen fathers who when they felt challenged, fought with their sons; it is ugly and no one is the winner, no matter who comes out on top.  But that never happened to me and I credit both my father and my grandmother.  I have a deep debt of gratitude for Clara Evans Goates for how deeply she has blessed my life; and all because she made a little boy make promises to her.

Weighting to Change

Parents often tell stories and explain principles to help their children learn.  But some of their most powerful lessons are never conveyed verbally.  This story is about a life changing principle that my father taught me without portraying it in words.

Wayne growing up on the farm

Let me start by saying that I was a tall skinny kid growing up on my parents 44 acre farm.  We always grew alfalfa hay that three times every summer had to be cut, baled, loaded in the field and then stacked.  As a kid, it was my job to roll the 80 lb wire-tied bales (which weighed almost as much as I did) into rows so the men father hired to help load and stack the hay bales could work faster.  I thought it was great fun trying to run ahead, rolling the bales on each side as the men would come through with a car and trailer to load all the bales.  

I am not certain whether it was my exuberant effort, my scrawny physique, or a combination of the two that impressed dad; but following the stacking of the first cutting of hay when I turned 14, father made the comment to me that possibly it was the right time to get me a set of weights.  As I remember, the following Saturday we took some livestock to sell in Caldwell and then stopped at Albertson's and Safeway to purchase food.   It is strange how you can live with someone for 14 years and yet have no idea of the important events and activities that have shaped and helped make them who they are.  I was about to learn about one of the primary determinants in my father life because that Saturday he bought a muscle man magazine.

 

Lorin in Canada wearing bear chaps

Let me just say that to the uninitiated, a muscle man magazine looks just a little weird with men in tiny swim suits, posing with bulging muscles and puffed out chests;  but hey -  what was I going to say because my father was impressed.  To my astonishment, it turns out that my father was something of a muscle man in his day and it came with this brief story.

Father and his twin brother Warren were tiny little boys, smaller than their peers as they were growing up.  With the shortage of men available to work during World War I, they spent the summers of 1916, 1917 and 1918 working for their uncle and cousin in Canada herding sheep.  Father said when the first summer was almost over he remembered getting on the barn scales and weighing only 73 pounds as a 13 year old.   (*Note - for comparison purposes I was very skinny and weighed 93 pounds as a 13 year old - so even though my father was shorter, at 73 pounds he was very small.)

Lorin flexing

The results of flour power

 Father's life story recounts how it was a few years latter that he read "a monthly magazine called Physical Culture published by Bernard McFadden. I was so impressed!  It wasn't long until we twins had barbells and a punching bag in our bedroom. We enjoyed weight-lifting, swimming, boxing, wrestling and other sports. We tried to keep the Word of Wisdom by eating good wholesome foods. We grew and soon became quite strong. I remember the time when I could raise a 125 pound barbell over my head with one hand in the bent press; also was able to walk on my hands the length of our high school gym. We were each able to tear a deck of cards in half and then quarter it with our hands."

Lorin doing a handstand

Mind you, these were the kind of barbells into which one poured lead shot B-Bs to increase the weight; and then they would add sacks of flour on top of the barbells when more weight was needed for bench pressing and other exercises.  I guess it was a little like cooking, in that the recipe for improving bench presses required you to add more flour.

As a 9th grade student I played basketball on the junior high team, but it was not a pleasant experience.  I remember father telling me that I would probably mature physically later than other students and he said while it may not seem like it, this would actually be to my advantage.  Well if anything it gave me an inferiority complex.  You really do start questioning yourself and your worth when thrown into the world of sports and you are the last of your peers to mature.  To say that you feel less or inferior would be an understatement.  

Other than tennis, I did not participate in high school sports my sophomore year.   Looking back, I believe the primary thing that kept me from just crawling in a hole and wishing the world would just pass me by was a set of weights, and a belief that by spending several months grunting and groaning with them could possibly transform me - so that possibly I could be an equal with my peers.  I faithfully spent my sophomore year lifting weights.  Father and I even built a strong bench to facilitate the required exercises (like bench presses) and I drank some strange concoction which according the muscle man magazine was guaranteed to help me put on weight and build muscle.

I cannot say that I was an amazing body building success.  But this much I do know, I took confidence from the fact that I was doing something about what I considered at the time to be my inferior situation.  It was fortunate that my efforts were made at the same time that I began to mature physically, but it is also important to realize that my body type was different from my father and I would never match his strength and physique.  While my results may not have been very impressive to anyone else, I was pleased to have "beefed up" my 6' 4" frame to 145 pounds by my junior year when I went out for football and basketball.  Of course the fact that I made both teams probably had more to do with the fact that I went to a small rural Idaho high school with only 220 students in grades 10 - 12, but what I remember is how I felt about myself.  I no longer felt that I was less than others.

By my senior year I was up to a whopping 155 pounds and actually started on the football team.  I began as a defensive end, but after the opposing team swept around my side three times in a row, the coach replaced me with a 200 pound freshman to anchor the defensive line.  I was, however, a starting offensive end and our team was the co-conference champion - so life was good.  

So what is the powerful and impressive life changing principle that comes from a muscle man magazine and months of grunting and groaning while lifting weights?  It is understanding that a person needs to take responsibility for their own life.  It is the realization that while you cannot always control the cards you are dealt in life, there is always something you can do to improve or make the situation better; and sometimes with consistent effort it can actually change your life.

Carlfred Broderick put it this way, "Take responsibility for the solution to your own problems.  Give up the luxury of blaming things on 'them' (spouse, employees, children, parents, friends, even God).  Acknowledge that while what happens to you may not be your responsibility, the way you respond to it is under no one's control but your own.  This is a hard doctrine and may seem to contradict the Law of Emotional Space.  It is based, however, on the assumption that no one's emotional space is ever reduced entirely to zero and that, therefore, there is always some choice of responses.  It is important to own up to the possibility of choice. Doing so immediately increases one's emotional space, since it enlarges one's sense of control and competence."  (from "Couples" by Dr. Carlfred Broderick)

Lorin at age 97 with his barbells

My father taught me this lesson with a set a weights; and he learned it with some barbells and sacks of flour.  The important thing is that this principle works for more than just helping skinny boys become strong and confident.  If you don't like something in your life, or you feel powerless, there is always something that you can do about it, and the results may surprise you from something as simple as just adding a little more flour.