Responding to Church Callings

The Precedent

One of the oft-repeated stories from my parents was regarding the events and situation surrounding Lorin being called to serve as a bishop.  He was promoted from a foreman to an assistant-superintendent of the Amalgamated Sugar factory in Nyssa, Oregon, and made the comment to Lucile that he knew he would be watched with all the new responsibilities at work, and therefore was considering whether to ask to be released from all church responsibilities other than home teaching for one year so he could concentrate on doing his best in his new position.  It was only a day or two later that the stake president called to meet with Lorin and Lucile to extend the call for him to be the bishop of the Parma Ward.  Without question it was a sacrifice, but they responded with faith.  

Bishop Lorin Goates with his counselors

This all occurred shortly before the beginning of the sugar campaign with the required rotating shifts, in addition to the annual end of year church tithing settlement.  Evidently, there were problems with the ward financial records which added significantly to the stress and load upon father.  With the pressure and stress of it all he had trouble sleeping which started to affect his health.  Nevertheless, he saw it through and I believe distinguished himself both at work and with the ward.

I was only eleven when father was called as a bishop, but I remember how busy he was and that as a family we were required to pick up the slack, particularly with milking the cows.  Lucile and Norma often helped with the outside chores when I was young.  As a young teenager I remember working many Saturdays with Olen Mower, who father hired, to clean out the corrals and barnyard in the spring.  We worked for hours scooping the mature by pitchfork into a spreader and then spreading it in the fields.  When I was sixteen, my father was released and all of a sudden, he was home on most Saturdays and there was no need to hire Olen any more because father and I could do the work together.  The influence of this story regarding my father being called to be bishop and how my parents would respond established a precedent and pattern for how their descendants would respond to church callings. 

  A Calling for Time and All Eternity

For time & all eternity

It is noteworthy that Kristie and I would first meet while we were waiting for our appointment with Bishop Nance, where he would call us to be BYU family home evening group parents.  That call brought us together and would change our lives forever.  What is so unusual and important to understand about our calling was what happened (or maybe it would be more accurate to say what didn't happen) at the end of the school year.  They never released Kristie and me from being family parents - hence our marriage in the Salt Lake Temple.

No Small Miracle

It was while signing the annual ward Christmas cards during the pre-Christmas bishopric party that Bishop Gene Chidester announced he had accepted a job in Utah and their family would be moving by the end of the month.  Talk about throwing cold water on the party, it soon felt like we were at a funeral.  A couple weeks later the stake presidency interviewed most of the active priesthood holders in the ward.  I distinctly remember driving out of the parking lot following my interview, knowing that I would not be someone they would consider.  After all, my father-in-law was lying bedfast in our living room in the last stages of Alzheimer's, Kristie had just begun counseling, and we were already overwhelmed as a family with multiple issues relating to our circumstances.  I had been very open and frank about our situation, and suggested others who would be excellent as bishop.

Being called as bishop was the least of my worries, because to say things were not good at home would be an vast understatement.  The stress and discord in our home was horrible.  As I remember the current culminating event, a family member was coming to visit for the holidays and invited a roommate along without first asking permission, at least Kristie and I were never asked.  This was after we had previously establish a rule that Marjorie, Kristie, and I all need to be aware and give our permission prior to accepting company.  Kristie was furious when she found out they were on their way without being informed and let her mother know of her displeasure in no uncertain terms.  You could say it was like pouring gasoline on a fire when I apologized to Kristie's mother for Kristie's reaction.  When Kristie became aware of my faux pas; well, it was the final straw.  I remember she left very angry with me that Saturday about noon, taking our daughters with her, and I knew we would not be on speaking terms for at least two weeks, after which there was a slight chance that if I didn't do anything else stupid, we would again establish some lines of communication.  Actually, only two weeks without talking was being optimistic.

I believe Kristie, Bryn, and Bree had been gone for about two hours when the phone rang and President Wayne Suggs asked if the stake presidency could talk with Kristie and me about 6:30 p.m. that evening (which as approximately 3 1/2 hours away).  I explained that Kristie was gone, but we would try to make it.  I don't remember whether I worried more about Kristie not getting back in time, or that she would get back, knowing that we were not even talking.  Kristie and our daughters arrived home about two hours later.  I still marvel at the events that were about to unfold.

A miracle before the call

When I told Kristie that the stake presidency wanted to meet with us at the church in an hour and a half, she responded with, "Well, if that is the case then we better get things resolved now."  With that, we walked down to Marjorie's room and knocked on her door.  While I was present and participated in our discussion, I still am not certain exactly what was said or what happened, but I remember that a half-hour later Kristie and I walked out, and miracle of all miracles, we were on speaking terms.  To this day, I consider this remarkable change as almost unbelievable.  To be perfectly honest, I do not think there is anything which I could have said or any apology that I could have made which would have have had the same effect in such a short time period.  And after that, there was no way I could refuse to accept the call to be a bishop because of what I had just witnessed.  It was no small miracle.

I wish I could say that the call to be a bishop immediately ended the ongoing problems which existed in our home, and between Kristie and me.  It did not, but the Lord did bless us, and through that calling and "sad experience" we did learn and grow to trust and love one another.

Branching Out

Beware of what you recommend for others, lest it should fall upon you.  While serving on the stake high council during the spring of 1998, I became both aware of and concerned about how Nels Iverson had served as the Jefferson branch president for eight years, often carrying the load almost by himself.  I'm not certain why he confided in me, but Nels called, and after we had a chance to meet and talk, I penned a letter to the newly called stake presidency informing them of the situation and suggesting they call someone else from outside the branch to provide some much needed and deserved relief to President Iverson.  To be honest, I thought or at least hoped that they would call the just released stake president and his wife, who would be an excellent choice.  Well, nothing came from my letter; at least no immediate action was taken.

Eighteen months later, I received a call that the stake presidency wanted to talk with me and Kristie.  It turns out that they would call me to be the Jefferson branch president, but possibly more significant were events related to Kristie and her attitude when this call was issued.

To explain, I believe it is helpful to acknowledge that real life can get messy.  Certainly family life can be difficult and awkward at times; and so can serving in the church.  All one has to do is read Genesis or 1st Nephi to observe how complicated and at odds things can be within good families; and church families are not always that different.  Kristie was serving in the stake Young Women's presidency who met with the new stake presidency on Wednesday evening to resign because of ongoing issues where they were not respected or allowed to serve in their callings.  The very next night, Kristie and I met with the stake presidency and they issued the call for me to serve as the Jefferson branch president.  When Kristie was asked how she felt about the calling, she didn't mince words and said she had questions regarding them (the stake presidency), but not regarding me and the call that was being issued.  I must give Kristie high marks for honesty and the faith to go forward when everything isn't just picture perfect and wonderful.

I am surprised at how I wrote my letter of concern regarding Jefferson Branch without any idea of the consequences it would eventually have on our family.  I am even more surprised at how Kristie could resign with her co-workers the night before, and then be willing to support my new calling the next night.  But most of all, I am surprise at how this calling would change and be such a blessing to our immediate and extended family.

The Jeffersonian Period

Initially, I started serving alone, without other members of my family.  Kristie was teaching Relief Society, one of her favorite callings, and loved her visiting teaching to and from Linda Dunmire - they would go to lunch each month.  I was fortunate that some new families had moved into Jefferson and I had excellent counselors.  Eventually, Kristie came, then Bree a year later while waiting for her mission call from the Jefferson branch, followed by Bryn, Marta, and Lisa (Kristie's sisters).  Every member of our family loved and served faithfully in the small branch.  The members in Jefferson were wonderful and very kind to us.  Five and a half years later, when I was released, it was very questionable who benefitted more from our serving in Jefferson - the branch or our family.  I refer to this time as the Jeffersonian Period for our family, which turned out to a time of remarkable growth for every member of our family who served in Jefferson.

A Patch Job

A few years after being released from serving in the Jefferson Branch, Elder Gerald N. Lund, a member of the Seventy and prolific LDS author, along with a brother Perry came to the Lebanon Oregon Stake to call a new stake presidency.  It is always interesting and amazing how  this all takes place over a weekend, and to me is one of the primary evidences of modern revelation.  There was the typical brief 3 or 4 minute interviews Saturday morning, followed by a phone call for Kristie and me to meet with them prior to the afternoon leadership meeting.  What is interesting about this particular call is who would be issuing it and his ability to understand our situation.

An Exelon Day

They had been inspired to call a remarkable new stake president and spoke with us about our situation and whether it would be appropriate to extend a call to be a counselor.  At this point Kristie had been diagnosed almost two year before with Alzheimer's and was told that she should no longer drive (which wasn't an issue since she had lost almost all sense of direction and could not even get to the church by herself).  I shared with them our circumstances, Kristie's ongoing dependency on me, and how she was on the new Exelon patches in an attempt to maintain her already limited abilities for as long as possible.  Brother Lund then informed us that his wife had also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and had started on the new Exelon patches.  At that time his wife was still able to drive the 5-minutes to their children's home, so she was not as limited as Kristie.  Brother Perry then made the statement, "Now we know why Elder Lund was assigned to Lebanon, Oregon."  I find it very remarkable, and feel it was a tender mercy of the Lord that of all the general authorities, Elder Lund, whose wife was also wearing Exelon patches, would be the one talking with us.  He certainly could understand our situation better than any other general authority.  Six months later in October General Conference, Elder Lund would be released one year before he turned 70, which is the normal age for being released.  I do not know if his release was related to his wife's situation, but I certainly would understand if it was.  What I do know is that Elder Lund understood our situation - causing me to marvel and be grateful that he was sent to reorganize our stake.