In the April 2020 General
Conference, Elder Neil L Andersen taught, “The spiritually defining memories
from our book of life are like luminous stones that help brighten the road
ahead, assuring us that God knows us, loves us, and has sent His Son, Jesus
Christ, to help us return home. … Embrace
your sacred memories. Believe them. Write them down. Share them with your
family. Trust that they come to you from your Heavenly Father and His Beloved
Son. Let them bring patience to your doubts and understanding to your difficulties.”
Reflecting on this counsel, I felt prompted to post the following two spiritually defining
memories which occurred in 1968 while I was a missionary in Iowa:
Communicating Without
Talking
The last Saturday
of January 1968 we drove up to Waterloo for me to interview a married couple
for baptism. Elder Reeves told me Brother Johnson wanted to be baptized, but
his wife wasn't sure. Elder Reeves then said Sister Johnson really was ready
even if she didn't think she was and that I was to interview and commit her for
baptism. I was not comfortable with his expectations and told him that was not
the way it worked for a baptismal interview. I interviewed the husband and it
was very evident he was prepared and committed. The wife really didn't want to
talk with me and said she wasn't going to be baptized yet, but Elder Reeves insisted
that she talk with me.
I told Sister
Johnson that we could fill out the baptismal recommend so it would be ready if
she were baptized very soon. She had lots of doubts and questions which were
troubling her and which we began to discuss. We would talk and then there would
be silence as we thought and the spirit worked. I shared scriptures and bore my
testimony. The spirit gave me power to know Sister Johnson's thoughts and it
was almost like she could feel or read my thoughts. It seemed that we were able
to communicate without speaking. I could sense in my mind what her questions or
objections were, and without using words I was able to convey my thoughts to
help answer her questions. Finally, I sensed that she was ready and willing to
be baptized and, in my mind, I asked her if she was sure. She then said
vocally, "Yes, I will be baptized tomorrow." We then verbally went
back through the baptismal questions.
Elder Reeves asked
after the interview what we talked about. He said he was trying to listen, but
part way through the interview he could not hear what was going on. That is
because a very significant portion of our communication was not done verbally.
I wish I could talk with Sister Johnson to get her recollection of what took
place and confirm if what she remembers corresponds with what I have related.
From this experience I have come to know that there is a process by which
intelligence can flow between two people without actually talking. I have
experienced it.
A few weeks after
this, Elder Osborne asked me to interview Jim and Patty Turner, a young couple
who he said were ready for baptism, even though they may not feel they were
ready. After my experience with Sister Johnson, I was confident and thought I
knew exactly how this would turn out. All I had to do was go visit with them
and let the spirit do its work. Well, of course it didn't work that way. The
Turner's were very nice, but not quite ready. Fortunately, they were ready and
baptized about a month later.
What was
interesting about this was how the spirit took over when I did not feel
confident, but left me to myself when I thought I knew how to control it. No
doubt the faith of those being interviewed was as important, if not even more
important than mine; but I am humbled to know what the spirit can do and that
it is not something which I control by myself.
An Acceptable Offering
and Knowing God's Love
We really worked
hard as missionaries in Iowa. I can say that personally, and also for other
missionaries in our zone. They changed our preparation day on Mondays, asking
us to try to do our shopping, laundry, letter writing, and anything else we
wanted to do before 1 p.m., and then we were to begin our missionary work
again. I know we put in many weeks with more than 80 hours of missionary work,
actually proselyting and being outside our apartments trying to preach the
gospel. I remember the Elders in Davenport talking with a member who said her
son in South America has been asked to increase their proselyting time to 55
hours a week and he didn't know how they were going to be able to do it. The
mother then asked the Elders how many hours they put in doing missionary work
each week. Elder Ashby turned to his companion and said, "Didn't we have
76 hours last week?" Of course, with the siesta time it would be more
difficult to proselyte all day in the Latin American countries, but I would not
be surprised if our weekly hours of missionary work were among the very highest
anywhere. It was also about this time that Sister Henderson, our mission
president's wife had health problems and had to return home. During this period
the full-time missionaries in eastern Iowa did not have any contact with our
mission president for six months, yet we all continued to work hard.
We had some
success, but the first seven months in Cedar Rapids were the longest period
that I went without having more than one baptism, and it wasn't because I
wasn't trying with all my might. It started to wear on me in March. Here I was
the leader and most of the other missionaries in our zone were having more
success than me. I started to become discouraged over my lack of success. We
would try to go out on splits, Elder Deppe with one member and me with another,
once or twice a week so we could teach more discussions. One evening while on
splits I got back to our apartment some time before Elder Deppe and so I knelt
down and poured out my heart to God. I remember telling Him of how hard we had
been working and asking why we were not having success. I shed tears as I spoke
to God trying to communicate my disheartened feelings because we were doing the
very best we could and did not understand why our efforts were not bearing
fruit. While expressing my confusion and vexations, I was over powered by a
feeling that God really knew and loved me, and that my offering was acceptable
to Him. Here I was all alone in a basement apartment, but just knowing that God
was aware of me, actually loved me as a son, and was pleased with our efforts
made all the difference. The contrast between the anguish and despair I had
been experiencing for weeks, and the comfort, reassurance, and love which
replaced those emotions was almost unbelievable.
Certainly, the
witness I received during the first part of mission that Nephi was a real
person and the Book of Mormon was true changed everything for me as to how I
felt about the gospel and the Church, but I believe this was the most powerful
spiritual experience of my mission. I felt the love of God for me, personally
and deeply. Every child of God should experience such feelings to understand
our worth in God's eyes.
