Feeling Joy Despite the Turbulence

During the 2019 April General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson promised that if we more intentionally hear, hearken, and heed what the Savior has said and is saying through His prophets today that, "You will be blessed with additional power to deal with temptation, struggles, and weakness. I promise miracles in your marriage, family relationships, and daily work. And I promise that your capacity to feel joy will increase even if turbulence increases in your life.”

A little more than a month before President Nelson made this promise, I was in a steam room at a health gymnasium when a gentleman found out I was from Oregon and asked me what brought me to Michigan.  I replied “Alzheimer’s” and then explained how we moved here to live with our daughter and her family to better take care of my wife, who was in memory care at the that time. 

It turns out he had a mother who was in memory care, and he then made a statement that shocked me.  He said, “Oh, you must be paying between $6,000 and $7,000 a month for memory care.  I understand why you would be bitter and angry.”

His statement really stunned me - both by how right and how wrong he was.  I told him, “I am amazed because you understanding exactly how costly memory care is”, (which most people underestimate), “but you are wrong because I am not bitter and angry."  I then told him anyone who grows up in a good family, has their health, and gets a good education is very blessed and privileged.”

As I thought about what he said, I realized that I wasn’t bitter and angry because my regular routine of:

1. Reading the scriptures every day.
2. Listening to General Conference as I would walk to take care of my wife and help feed her every morning.
3. Working on family history and attending the temple each month.
4. Actively ministering and serving others who often had incredible challenges and less resources than me.
5. Associating with wonderful members of the Church.
6. And feeling the spirit speak to me, especially when I was helping others.

All these things had help me so my capacity to feel joy was not diminished, even though my circumstances were anything but desirable.  It was an exact fulfillment of what President Nelson promised, and I was able to feel joy in spite of the turbulence in my life.

More powerful, however, was an experience I had later that summer.  Again, most days I would listen to General Conference or music as I would walk to feed Kristie breakfast in the morning or when I returned to help get her ready and into bed at night.  While walking to care for Kristie, I was struck with the thought that she was among the most meek on the earth because at that time she had not been able to ask for, or reach for, a drink of water for over 4 years.  I then remembered what the Savior said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”  While pondering the Savior’s statement, I had the strong spiritual impression that because of what she has suffered, Kristie would be forgiven of all her sins, and she would inherit Eternal Life.  It was an overwhelming feeling and strong assurance that confirmed to my soul the truthfulness of what I was feeling.

This impression came over me while I was listening to a song called "Bargain" by the British rock group The Who.  As I felt the spirit bearing witness of what I was feeling and how the Lord would consecrate Kristie’s affliction for her gain - I heard the words from the song saying, “I call that a bargain, the best I ever had - the best I ever had.”

It is strange how this unique, spiritual experience has put Alzheimer's into an entirely new light or perspective for me.  While I would not wish Alzheimer’s on anyone, the idea that one might qualify for Eternal Life because of suffering through it, really does put things in a new light.  If Eternal Life, and joy and happiness for the eternities is the outcome, then Alzheimer's really is a bargain - the best I ever had, absolutely the best.

It was another and more convincing witness of what President Nelson had promised, "that if we more intentionally hear, hearken, and heed what the Savior has said and is saying through His prophets today that, "You will be blessed with additional power to deal with temptation, struggles, and weakness. I promise miracles in your marriage, family relationships, and daily work. And I promise that your capacity to feel joy will increase even if turbulence increases in your life.”